It Was Never About the Coffee
by Meowser Clancy
Summary: AU. Chimney meets the new ER nurse at St. Elizabeth Hospital in LA.
1. Chapter 1

**It Was Never About the Coffee by Meowser_Clancy**

A/N: I don't typically watch hospital shows so if I get details wrong...I really don't care lol. They aren't the point of the story tbh so this is just a disclaimer that I'll more than likely make a goof about hospital procedures because I refuse to fact check for a fanfic :) I write this for fun and I'm not going to turn it into a school paper.

AU: Chimney meets the new ER nurse at St. Elizabeth Hospital in LA.

~Meowser

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

* * *

Maddie had fifteen minutes left on her break, which was just enough time to finish this chapter. She couldn't believe Amanda had actually talked her into reading Game of Thrones, but here she was, lugging around the first book her whole shift today.

She tensed as her phone buzzed, praying that it wasn't Doug. Not today. She couldn't deal with him today. She checked it, and breathed out nervously, seeing that it was just an email. It was fine. She was all good.

She had separated from her husband just over a month ago, and she was planning on serving him this week. She was terrified of what his reaction would be, since she knew that only the watchful eyes of his visiting parents had kept him from pursuing her this past month. She had timed it correctly, setting up the new apartment in secret for months, and moving out just as his parents came into town for their 40th wedding anniversary. They had gone out with just their son and Doug's sister, Brenda, and Maddie had used that time to move out. She'd had it in the works for months, and she'd been silently taking boxes over of books and little things that Doug wouldn't miss for months.

She'd finally been able to breathe, that first night in her new place. In between flinching at every sound, she had been able to breathe.

She didn't tell Buck that she'd separated from Doug until just yesterday, and she'd downplayed it. "It's just a trial separation," she'd lied, knowing that the divorce papers were sitting in her car at that very moment. She was just so nervous, irrationally terrified that Buck would somehow let it slip to Doug that Maddie planned to actually divorce him. Maybe Maddie just watched too many bad sitcoms, but she refused to let anyone know this information until it was official. Until there was no going back.

She wasn't going back.

The timer went off on her phone, and she flinched, realizing that she'd wasted her break thinking about Doug, _again_. Maybe he was the reason she couldn't finish a book lately, not her own inattention. She couldn't focus with the thought of him hanging over her head, and she was so utterly thankful that he hadn't come by her new workplace yet.

She hadn't told him that she was transferring to St. Elizabeth's, and she'd given everyone at Mercy who was in the know very explicitly instructions not to tell him. She hadn't told anyone else from Mercy where she was going, so even if Doug went by there, it would be a dead end. Maddie wasn't exactly afraid of her husband, but she was tired of letting him rule her life.

She wanted out, and she was going to get it.

She stood up, putting the book back in her cubby, and leaning against the wall for a minute. This job was so exhausting, never a slow moment to just breathe, and while it had once been her whole life, now she'd begun to just be tired. She just wanted some rest.

* * *

This job was his whole life now that Tatiana had left him, Chimney reflected grimly. He was still frustrated over meeting her earlier. He couldn't believe that she, of all people, was pregnant.

So she had wanted children, just not his.

Hen kept glancing over at him, and Chimney knew she was thinking about the same thing. When he'd told her earlier, she kept shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Chim," she said at the end. "But you know you're better off without her, right?"

The ambulance slowed to a halt, and he and Hen jumped out, ready to go. Carly was on the stretcher, and usually there were orderlies waiting to escort the patient inside, but it must be a busy day, since there was no one outside.

He and Hen pushed Carly into the ER, where a swarm came to grab her, apologizing that they weren't ready.

It was then he saw her.

Chimney had a pretty good feel of all the nurses and doctors at the various hospitals they went to. It wasn't that big a radius, and he was there often enough to get to know faces, if not names.

She was new.

It wasn't exactly her beauty that caught his eye, although she was defintely beautiful. It was more how she stayed calm in the midst of everything. It was like the ER was crashing around her, and she just kept walking, calm and steady, through a room of frenzied people.

Her brown hair was braided, and Chimney had never seen someone look so good with a braid. Not even Tatiana.

"Chim," Hen said, in a way that made it sound like this wasn't the first time she'd called his name. "Where you at?"

"Sorry," he said. Hen tried to follow his line of vision, but the nurse had already disappeared around a corner.

"What?" She asked. "You see a ghost?"

"No, no," he protested. "Hey, can we grab a cup of coffee from the machine? I just need some caffeine before we go back."

She looked at him incredulously but ultimately shrugged. "I don't think I've ever seen someone in the mood for hospital coffee, but you do you," she said. "I'll be waiting, don't keep me there long."

He nodded, heading around the corner, hoping against all realistic hope that she'd be there.

She wasn't.

Disappointed, he headed for the vending machines, pulling out his phone to tap against the reader and made his selection, E5.

The cup dispensed and filled, and Chimney lifted it to his lips, sighing a little. It really wasn't good coffee.

He had reached the ER again, could see the bay doors and Hen waiting impatiently outside, and then there she was.

"Hey, new girl," the receptionist, who Chimney did know, gestured to her. "I can't remember your name for the life of me."

"Maddie," she replied, and Chimney mouthed the name, repeating it to himself as he headed to the ambulance.

_Maddie_.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

* * *

Maddie wasn't entirely part of St. Elizabeth's rhythm yet, and she could feel it when the other nurses had to pause and tell her something. She hated adjustment periods, she wanted to be the person who knew it all their first day, especially since she'd been working in an ER for over ten years now, and over half of that at the same place, but every hospital had their own quirks and orders of operation. It was hard to dismiss the way you'd done things for years, and she was forcing herself to learn new patterns.

Paramedics didn't usually hang out at Mercy, but Maddie had seen several stick around if only to grab a cup of coffee at St. Elizabeth. Maddie was waiting for the day that she bumped into Buck. She knew it was unlikely, since he didn't work as a paramedic, but firefighters could get injured too. She didn't want to tell her brother that she wasn't at Mercy anymore. She'd have to give an explanation, then, and Buck wasn't the type to be satisified with "I needed a change". No, Buck would need reasons, and Maddie didn't want to give them. Neither did she want to lead with "I don't need reasons" because that would only set her brother off more. He couldn't stand not being in the loop and knowing what was going on. He had always insisted on being included, in every game or party as children, and that had made Maddie's life awkward more than once, since she was ten years older.

She loved her brother. She really did. She just didn't want to tell him this. Not yet.

She walked through the lobby, a week after serving Doug with the divorce papers. She was still on edge, since he'd called her the day he got the papers. She had picked up, but had hung up after all it had been was him yelling.

She wasn't doing this anymore. She'd get a restraining order if she had to, but so far he hadn't crossed a tangible line.

She just wanted him to sign the papers.

"You look off in another world," a voice commented, and she glanced up. It was that paramedic, the one she'd seen around. He always got coffee when he was at St. Elizabeth's, even though their coffee was awful.

"Yeah," she admitted. "You, on the other hand, have got to be the only person I've ever seen enjoy that coffee."

He laughed, and it lit up his face. He was cute, she had to admit. At least 5'8", muscular build, a fantastic smile. It made her feel warm inside. She couldn't remember the last time someone had really smiled at her, and it brought a faint smile to her own face.

"It's not good coffee," he said. "Funny how that's all paramedics and nurses end up talking about."

"Well, we're all fairly obsessed with caffeine," she gently reminded. "It's one of the only ways to get through a shift here."

He smiled, and they both fell silent for a minute. "You're, uh, new here," he commented. "I come here often enough to realize when they have a new face."

"Yeah," she said. "I just transferred."

She no longer introduced herself first, a habit Doug had instilled in her because he thought it was flirting.

"Okay," he said, taking the hint when she didn't say her name. She liked that in a guy, someone who paid attention to the smaller cues. "I'll see you around."

"Most likely," she agreed, and he tilted his head, confused.

She didn't want to be mean, but she was also tired of guys who just wanted to bang nurses. She didn't think that was him, necessarily, but being too friendly on the first meeting wasn't something she did anymore.

He waved awkwardly and walked off, leaving Maddie standing at the desk and wondering if she regretted doing that.

She finally decided that she didn't, walking away from the desk with the firm resolve to introduce herself the next time she saw him.

* * *

He'd be lying to say that Maddie acting so stiff around him didn't put him in a funk. Sue him, he'd thought there was something there, but as usual, it was just his imagination.

She'd looked so good today too, with her hair in a bun this time.

He wondered what it looked like down, but he doubted he'd get a chance to find out.

Hen was waiting for him, as usual, rolling her eyes at the coffee. "You know you're going to have to tell me what this is about one of these days, right?" She teased. "Becaus Chimney Han is not usually a lover of bad cofffee."

"It's over now," he said. "There was a cute nurse but I finally get up the nerve to talk to her, right, and she blows me off."

"She might have been having a bad day," Hen shrugged, as they turned right to get back to the station. "There are a lot of reasons she might not have taken you up on something today. A girl's gotta be careful, you know."

"I mean, we've seen each other around for a few weeks now," Chimney said. "There hasn't been eye contact or anything, but she knew who I was. She said something about how I was always drinking the coffee here."

"Well, it's a hard thing to miss when their coffee is trash," Hen said. "A paramedic who always fills up? I'm sure everyone has been talking about you."

"Hush," Chimney said. "I just made a fool of myself, didn't I?"

"No," she corrected. "But at the same time, I'd stop drinking the coffee there, if I were you."

He laughed it off, and Hen laughed too, but inside, he put away the new hope that something would come of this. Maddie obviously wasn't interested.

He would just have to be okay with that, and honestly, it was fine. She didn't owe him anything, and at the end of the day, it had been a long shot anyway. As if a woman like her would be interested in him, who hadn't even been able to keep Tatiana.

God, would that woman ever stop haunting him? Even after he'd given her the LAFD fire calendar, he felt empty inside. Hen kept assuring him that he was better off but honestly, it didn't feel like that. It was almost a year later, and it felt like he was in the exact same place.

And he hated it.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

* * *

She didn't see him around for awhile after that, and it tugged at her anxiety a little. Was he avoiding her? That would be fair, since she hadn't exactly been welcoming, but she had done it expecting to see him again.

Doug was finally going through her attorney, and they were making progress. Kathy kept telling her she could be done with this marriage by the end of the month, which Maddie didn't really believe, but if they could get Doug to sign a settlement, then it could be over tomorrow. There weren't any kids to consider, thank god, or pets, or anything that could create a nasty custody battle. She was leaving the house with him and he hadn't cosigned on her car, so there was nothing left for him to fight her over; she hadn't given him anything. Any item she thought he might even try to keep she'd just left.

She hoped that she could be done with this soon, she really did. She dreamed of the day when she'd finally be a free woman, if she'd ever really feel free again after all that had happened.

Still, she lived in hope. She had to, or she'd just crumple over.

"He's here," Lisa told her, winking at her from across the desk.

"Who?" Maddie wondered, but she knew who Lisa meant. She may have casually mentioned to the woman that she was waiting for him to come back.

"The paramedic," Lisa said.

"That doesn't mean anything," Maddie said, her face flushing anyway. She started to gather up her paperwork. "His job kind of includes this."

"Come on, Maddie," Lisa scoffed. "Don't act like he's here for the coffee."

Maddie turned around, and Lisa was right; he was right there, talking with what looked like a family member of their newest patient.

"I just want to thank you," they were telling Mr. Paramedic, who just nodded and shook their hand.

"I haven't seen you around for a while," she commented, walking past.

She could almost feel his eyes follow her and she almost slowed her walk, hoping against hope that he'd follow. For a moment or two, she was really sure he wasn't going to. She could feel him holding himself back, and scolded herself for making this so hard but she couldn't afford to give an inch. She couldn't be the one to initiate things. Her anxiety and guilt over, well, everything, prevented her from doing a lot, and just talking to him was making her feel shaky. She was still a married woman, technically.

He followed her, and Maddie felt her anxiety ramp up even more. She could feel the tension in the air around them, so thick it was palpable.

"Yeah," he said. "I've been busy."

"Too busy for coffee?" She asked, turning to face him.

He was so unfairly cute, and her heart was pounding so loud she could barely hear.

"It's not like it was good coffee," he admitted. "I decided to pass the last couple times I was here."

"That's too bad," she said, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Why do you say that?"

"Maybe I was going to tell you where we keep the good stuff," she said, and, to her own disbelief, winked at him. She had no idea what she was doing. She hadn't flirted with a man since before Doug, and this was so unlike her anyway.

But she felt...good? Nervous but in an electric kind of way, and she could see his clear interest as he looked at her.

"Well, you should have told me that last time," he said. "Okay, I do have to go, my partner is waiting."

She could feel him turning the tables on her, trying to be the one to walk away this time. She pulled the rug out from under his feet, metaphorically speaking. "Maddie," she called after him, and she could see his walk get a little cockier as he turned to face her for only a brief moment as he walked away.

"Howie," he replied.

"See you around," she called, and she could almost hear his smile.

"Most likely," he said, and disappeared through the bay doors.

Maddie couldn't keep the smile off her face as she turned away, walking back towards the hallways where the coffee was. She couldn't wait to see him again.

* * *

Hen waited by the ambulance. "I thought you were done trying their coffee," she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You know, I really thought I was," Chimney admitted. "But now I just got another taste and it's not so bad."

"Okay, what does that mean?" Hen demanded. "Are we still talking about coffee?"

"Nope," he said. "That nurse, we talked again."

"Talked or flirted?" Hen asked, and Chimney grinned at his partner.

"Would I been in this good of a mood if we'd just talked?" He wondered. "She told her name, you know."

"Did she now?" Hen wondered.

"Yeah, it's Maddie," Chimney replied. "I already knew that from one of the other nurses but she told me herself today."

"That's a nice name," Hen mused. "It sounds familiar, though."

"Maddie's not an uncommon name," Chimney admitted. "I like it. Always have."

Hen just rolled her eyes, but there was a smile on her face. It was a good day to be part of the 118.

Once back at the station, Hen and Chimney were checking everything for the ambulance before parking it and going up for dinner. Bobby had just finished cooking, and Buck cheered when they walked in.

"He was really going to make us all wait for you two," he told them. "I kept telling him, Bobby, you can't make a guy like me wait that long for pasta."

"I thought you were watching carbs again," Hen commented.

"Nah, I need to bulk up a little," Buck said, as Eddie entered behind Chimney. Chimney watched as Buck's eyes followed the new team member.

He wasn't sure if Buck was really okay with Eddie being on the team after all, since Buck was still trying to one up the other guy.

"You guys take a little longer when it's St. Elizabeth," Bobby commented. "I've noticed that for a few weeks now. Is there an issue?"

"Nope," Chimney said. "No issues."

"Chimney just likes the coffee," Hen said dryly. "Can't drag him away."

"I don't go there for the coffee," Chimney protested, but the team was already teasing him about how bad it was. Hen winked at him from across the table, and he silently mouthed thank you.

At least she hadn't told about Maddie.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

* * *

Chimney wanted a reason to go to St. Elizabeth's, and the next few days he swore that fate was just taunting him. Every call took them out of St. Elizabeth's range, just like it was on purpose, and Chimney was annoyed as he prepared for another ride, not letting it show as he prepped Mrs. Clancy.

"You're taking me to a Catholic hospital, yes?" The elderly woman asked, and Chimney told her yes. "Which one? Mercy or St. Elizabeth?"

"Mercy," Hen replied. "It's the closet one, ma'am."

"No, I don't like the doctors there," she fretted. "Can we go to St. Elizabeth?"

Hen smirked at him and Chimney hid his own/ smile. Fate was finally smiling at him, and he was ready to see Maddie again.

* * *

She hadn't slept at all that night, and she could feel it as she moved from room to room, checking charts. Everything was looking good, and the most recent catastrophe was over. She could finally grab a coffee.

She yawned, covering her mouth with her hand, and trying to shake herself awake.

"I think you might need the coffee more than I do," a voice said, and she spun around. Howie stood there, an eyebrow raised.

"Well, you might be right," she admitted, stifling another yawn.

"Come on," he said. "Let me buy you a cup, unless you weren't joking about the better coffee."

"Sadly, I was," she replied, following him down the hall. "I wish we had better coffee. This is just sad, honestly."

"It really is," he agreed. "Cream or sugar?"

"Black is fine," Maddie said. "But let me get it."

He started to protest, as the machine took the payment from his phone. "I can," he began, but she stood firm.

"I like to know where I stand," she said. "And it's on my own two feet."

"Okay," he said, grabbing his cup and letting her pay for herself.

She took a sip, and looked over the rim of her cup at him. "So," she said. "Howie, right?"

"I'm flattered you remembered," he said. "Uh, it's a nickname. Short for Howard."

"That part is easy," she replied. "Maddie is short for Madeline, again obvious."

"I like it," he said easily, as they began to walk back towards the main area of ER.

"My name?" She wondered, flushing a little.

"Yeah," he said, taking a longer drink. "Yuck," he said softly, and she laughed out loud.

"You aren't here for the coffee, are you?" She asked, wondering to herself if she should even voice that.

"No, not really," he admitted. "You have a nice laugh."

"I don't do it much," she said, ducking her head. "I haven't done...this in a long time either."

"Done what?" He asked, his eyes piercing hers.

She bit her lip, wondering what to say. "Coffee," she finally finished.

"Come on," he whispered, stepping closer to her. "It's not about the coffee, is it?"

She felt her breath catch, and she was staring up at him. His eyes were so warm, twinkling, and she took another sip of coffee to avoid the sudden tension hanging between them.

This was a lot. This was more than she'd bargained for, honestly. She couldn't afford to start anything yet. She wasn't a single woman, and she wasn't going to do anything until Doug signed those damn papers.

"Do you want to, uh, get more coffee sometime?" He finally asked, after she never replied to his statement. "Maybe coffee that isn't awful?"

"Maybe," she said, stepping back from him. "Um. My life is a work in progress, so I can't tell you yes or no...right now."

He considered her words, realizing they weren't a rejection. "That's fair," he said. "My calendar is wide open."

She smiled at him, wanting to assure him that it was something she wanted, just not yet. "I might take you up on that," she assured him.

"You should," he said. "I have to go, for real now, but I will see you later."

"Yeah," she said. "You will."

* * *

She got dinner with Buck, who was being extra as usual. He always talked about the 118 like it was his second family, regaling her with stories about Bobby, Chimney, Hen and Eddie.

"So does this boy crush on Eddie mean you're finally over Abby?" She wondered, taking a sip of wine. "Who you never introduced me to, by the way."

"Hey, you never said yes when I invited you over," he protested. "I did ask."

"I know," she sighed. "You know Doug didn't like company."

"Why are you talking about him in the past tense?" Buck wondered, taking a bite of steak, before his eyes widened. "Maddie, did you finally leave him?"

She considered her next step carefully, but she'd messed it up herself. She should have been more careful. "Yeah," she said finally. "I did. I'm just waiting on him to sign the divorce papers and we're done, but he's refusing."

"Like that's a surprise," Buck said. "He was always a prick." He stared at her. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving him? I would have helped."

"I know," she said, biting her lip. "But it was delicate and you and I haven't exactly been close these past years. You've been in LA for, what, three years now and we've seen each other twice."

"You said yourself that's on Doug," Buck said.

"You could have tried harder," Maddie said, before amending it. "I'm sorry, Buck. We could have both tried harder, but I was...nervous."

"Did he hurt you?" Buck asked, and the question lingered in the air.

"Yes," she said. "But not like that. It doesn't matter anymore. It's over. Well, almost."

"Yeah," Buck sighed. "You should have a party to celebrate when he finally signs them."

"Like that's going to happen," she said. "You know I don't do parties."

"Yeah but that's old Maddie," he said. "It's a new era, isn't it?"

"Maybe," she said. "I don't know, I don't have many friends."

"We can do it at my apartment," Buck said. "I found a real place after Abby left and I've been intending to have a sort of house warming party, so we can just combine them."

"You've grown," she admitted, looking at her younger brother. "I'm proud of you."

"We don't really say things like that, do we?" Buck said, uncomfortable.

"Maybe we should start," Maddie shrugged. "I'll consider the party, but only after he signs, which might take him another year."

"I can wait," Buck said, and raised his wine glass. "To you, for leaving him. I'm proud of you too."

She tapped her glass against his. "I think I'm also proud of me," she said.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

* * *

"Come to my house warming party," Buck said, throwing it out at the dinner table one night. "Everyone, it's an inclusive invitation. Invite your family and partners."

"You got a house?" Eddie asked.

"Apartment, but same thing," Buck said. "This is the first time I've had it in my own name, no roommate."

"Congrats," Bobby said. "That's a milestone everyone gets to celebrate. Yes, I will be there, and I'll bring Athena."

"I'll be glad to bring Karen and Denny," Hen agreed.

"You can finally meet my sister," Buck said, and Chimney silently scoffed. "She's a powerhouse, just like me. Well, like all the Buckleys."

"I can't wait," Chimney said dryly, taking another helping of potatoes.

"Be nice," Hen scolded.

"Hey, it's an occasion for her as well," Buck said. "Her asshole ex finally signed the divorce papers, and she's free."

"Tell her congrats from me," Bobby said. "I know you said it's been a long time coming, and that's another big step."

"You can tell her yourself on Saturday," Buck shrugged. "But yeah, I'll have burgers and stuff but if you guys want to bring a side, that would be helpful."

"We can bring our homemade pickles," Hen said.

Bobby volunteered dessert and Eddie said he'd pick up buns. Chimney was beginning to realize that he probably couldn't get out of this, not that he'd really been trying, and ended up saying he'd bring the beer. "Any preferences?" He asked.

"IPAs, obviously," Buck said. "Come on, don't you know me by now?"

* * *

Maddie wasn't at St. Elizabeth's when Hen and Chimney stopped there later, something which disappointed him. He'd been looking forward to seeing her; it had been about a month since he'd asked her for coffee and she'd gently asked for a raincheck. They'd spent time together since then, however, grabbing coffee when they had time. He'd spent her break with her once, when it was a slow day at the 118 and Hen was busy with Karen.

They'd talked, and he'd pointed at the book that was always in her purse. "Game of Thrones? Big fan?"

"I haven't even made it halfway through," she sighed. "My friend loves it and she finally talked me into it."

"You didn't watch the show?" He said. "Travesty."

"Are you a big fan?" She'd wondered, and he shrugged.

"I watched it, what can I say?"

That had been a good day. Chimney had wanted to talk more about it, more about everything. Every time he saw her he was more intrigued. He hadn't yet gotten up the courage to ask her just why her life was a work in progress, since he had a feeling it wasn't something she'd tell him...yet.

He walked the corridors, about to leave, when he spotted her. She was in street clothes, hair down, sneakers, jeans, and a long blue button up. "Howie," she said, her eyes crinkling in a smile. "You caught me."

"What are you doing here in civvies?" He teased.

"I just had to come in to talk to my supervisor, no big deal," she said. "You busy?"

"Why do you ask?" He wondered, noting how much happier she was today. She wasn't working, so that could be it, and yet...there had to be a bigger reason.

"I just wondered if you had time for that coffee," she said. "You know, the one that's not terrible. There's a Starbucks, like, two minutes from here."

"God, I wish I could," he said. "I'm sorry, I'm on shift."

"Of course," she said. "I just thought maybe you had a minute or two."

He bit his lip. "I hate to tell you no," he said. "I really do."

"Raincheck," she said. "Just not Saturday, I have plans."

"I do too, so that's fine," he replied, noting how pretty she looked right now. Her hair was amazing, brushing past her shoulders in chocolate waves.

"I should let you go," she said, ducking her head and moving to let him past.

"I don't want to," he said softly.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing, I just don't have your phone number," he said. "It might be easier to plan that coffee if I did."

She smiled. "Nice try," she said. "Very smooth. But not yet."

"I can wait," he said. "Hey, what changed your mind?"

"About what?" She wondered.

"Grabbing coffee," he said. "You said previously your life was a work in progress, so I hope this means something changed."

"Something did," she admitted. "Hey, I'll see you later. I think your partner is waiting."

"Okay, I'm going," he said. He could see Hen through the big doors, but he'd never wanted to kiss Maddie more.

* * *

Maddie felt her nerves jumping, as Howie left the hospital. She knew she'd done the right thing about taking everything glacier slow, but she'd wanted to give him her phone number...a lot.

She was a single woman now. Kathy had emailed her yesterday morning with the words "You're a free woman. Doug signed the papers and I'm filing them this afternoon."

One simple text from her ex as well "You win".

Maddie almost believed it herself as she left the hospital, preparing to go shopping for Buck's party on Saturday. Yeah. She had won.

Speaking of Buck, she had to confirm how many people were coming, so she dialed her brother's number.

"Hey, you busy?" She asked when he picked up.

"I have a minute," he said. "What's up?"

"I'm grabbing utensils and napkins for Saturday," she said. "How many people?"

"Not more than 20," he replied. "Bobby and Athena, Eddie and Chris, Hen, Karen, Denny, Chimney doesn't have a girlfriend, and everyone else was busy."

"That's ten with us, and then Amanda is coming," Maddie said. "Maybe plan on 12?"

"That works," Buck said. "Chimney is bringing beer so don't worry about drinks."

"I'll pick up some sparkling water too," Maddie said. "What kind of name is Chimney anyway?"

"I don't know, that nickname was before my time here," Buck said. "You should ask him on Saturday."

"Yeah, I'm sure I will," Maddie said, knowing there was little chance she'd talk to his buff fireman coworkers, especially not someone who went by Chimney, of all things.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

* * *

Saturday came too quickly, and while Maddie was excited to see Amanda and celebrate her new freedom, she was apprehensive about the rest of the guest list. She'd never met any of Buck's coworkers, and she wasn't good with new people.

She almost wished she had taken up Howie's invitation to get a coffee, since at least then there would be something else to be nervous about and distract her.

She bit her lip, having changed clothes three times already, wondering who she was trying to impress.

She finally settled on ripped jeans, trying to give a casual feel, and a white shirt, ready for this night to be over already. She already knew she'd have a nervous stomach ache and not be able to eat anything for most of the evening.

It was already five, so she reluctantly grabbed her bags together to go to Buck's place. She was already regretting accepting his offer, but she knew it meant a lot to him, and at least Amanda was coming. Honestly, if she wasn't, Maddie might have flaked on Buck out of sheer panic.

She'd just pulled up to Buck's place, was gathering her things and Buck was coming out to greet her, when her phone buzzed. Her stomach sank when she checked it. Amanda couldn't come.

She really didn't want to do this, but she swallowed her apprehension, as Buck came to greet her. "You ready for this?" He said. "Finally a single woman!"

"Yeah," she said. "It feels good."

"I told my friends that tonight is not just about me," Buck said. "So they'll be cheering you too."

"Buck," she protested. "Why would you tell everyone that? Now it's just going to be weird, I don't even know them."

"You might as well, I talk about you all the time, and you know I talk about them when I hang with you," Buck said. "I'm sorry, I just thought we were celebrating that. I didn't think it was a secret."

"It wasn't a secret, I just didn't need strangers congratulating me on things that are private," she said. "I need a minute, okay?"

"Maddie," Buck said, but she grabbed a sparkling water and stepped onto his patio, trying to breathe for a minute.

She knew it wasn't a big deal, but she really hadn't come here expecting this, and now Amanda wasn't coming. And, honestly, she hadn't had time to process the fact that her marriage was over. As much as she'd been waiting for it, it felt weird. It felt like a letdown, like she'd waited so long for this, and she'd been expecting it to change her life, but, really, she was the one who'd have to change it. She'd have to put the work in.

She bit her lip, taking a sip of the blackberry flavored soda, trying to come back to herself and adjust to this evening. "Mads," Buck said, poking his head onto the patio. "People are getting here. Hey, I really am sorry, I didn't mean to overwhelm you."

"I know," she said. "You're fine, Buck. I should have clarified if I didn't want you telling people." He reached to hug her, and she let her brother embrace her.

* * *

When Chimney walked in, beer in hand, Buck's arm was around a woman, which surprised him. He didn't think Buck was dating. Their backs were to him, so he cleared his throat, too loudly. "Hey," he said, as they turned around, and his heart skipped about ten beats. "Maddie?" He asked, and her jaw dropped.

"Howie?" She wondered, and Chimney felt his heart dropping. Goddamn, that was her complication? She was dating someone else?

"You guys have already met?" Buck asked. "That's awesome."

"Yeah, I see her at St. Elizabeth's," Chimney said, unable to believe anything that was happening now. He wanted to be happy to see her but how could he be when she was with Buck?

"Well, I don't need to make introductions now," Buck said. "Congratulate her, Chim."

"Chim?" Maddie asked.

"Yeah, Chimney," Buck said. "See the beer? I told you he'd bring some."

Buck came to grab the beer and Chimney stared at Maddie, his heart thudding dully.

"So how long have you known Buck?" He finally asked.

She tilted her head, confused. "I mean, all his life?"

His brain wasn't processing things, and he felt like there were two wires trying and failing to connect up there.

"I'm his sister, Howie," she finally interjected, and sense flooded back into his brain. Oh my god. She was the sister.

"You're the Buckley sister?" He gaped. "God, you are not how he describes you."

She raised an eyebrow. "Should I be offended?"

"No, god, no," he said. "I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"Well, neither did I but I guess we should have done the math that firefighters and paramedics might know each other," Maddie said. They were alone in the room, and suddenly they were standing much closer; both had been stepping forward.

"So Buck says you just divorced your husband," Chimney said.

"Yeah," Maddie said. "That was my work in progress, that was why I didn't want to take you up on that coffee. I was waiting for it to finalize, but it was a sensitive subject and most of my coworkers didn't know."

"You're a very private person," he said. "You want to know something hilarious? I already have your phone number, Buck texted it to me earlier this week if I had any questions about the party. He just didn't include your name."

"He's just spreading my business all over," she groaned. "But in this case, I guess I'm not mad."

Silence. Buck came back, and others started to arrive. Chimney didn't know how to make this _not _feel awkward.

* * *

Maddie couldn't believe that Howie was here, and she felt like she was on fire from how hard she was blushing, the whole evening. She grabbed a beer thinking it would help her relax, but it ended up making things worse, and she just wanted to go sit in a corner and process for a minute.

She hadn't been able to talk to Howie since everyone else had come in, and she wasn't sure what to say. She was interested in him, very interested, but she didn't want to come on too strong, she didn't want to rush things, and now that he was Buck's coworker, she didn't know if this changed things.

Hen raised an eyebrow when they were introduced, and Maddie knew that this was Howie's paramedic partner, so she'd probably put two and two together pretty soon, which meant any illusion of privacy would be gone by the time the party ended.

But…

She took another sip of beer, staring at Howie over the rim. She felt like he was worth it. Maybe.

She shook her head at herself, knowing that this was a dangerous path that she wasn't ready for.

And yet...when he looked at her as he was doing right now, making eye contact across a crowded room...she felt ready enough.

* * *

"Walk me to my car," she said softly, a long time later. Eddie and Buck were still chatting in the kitchen, but everyone else had slowly filtered out, making their goodbyes. She liked Buck's coworkers; Bobby and Athena were professional and friendly, and Hen and Karen were very warm and welcoming.

Howie put down his beer immediately. "Yeah, let me say goodbye to Buck and Eddie," he said.

She already had made her goodbyes to her brother so she waited patiently, until Howie was back in the living room, grabbing his jacket from the couch, and opening the door for her.

"I really didn't expect to see you here tonight, but I guess that goes without saying," he rambled, and she felt like his nervous chatter was just because he was afraid she'd asked him to call this whole thing off.

He wasn't far off. She wasn't sure how she felt about this thing now that she knew Buck worked with him, but really, that wasn't a reason to change how she felt about him.

He had been so respectful of any distance she'd put between them, and she knew that if she said something today he would pay attention and back off.

Thing is, she didn't want him to.

The evening air was cool and she shivered. "God, I'm a clod," Howie said, immediately slipping his jacket around her shoulders.

"You really don't have to," she began to protest, but he'd turned around to face her and now they were staring at each other. His hands were still on the jacket's collar, and she found herself wishing it was the opposite, so that she could use his collar to pull him towards her.

She wanted to kiss him.

"I'm not cold," he said, his voice soft, unsure.

"Yeah," she breathed, and they just stood there, frozen in place.

He ducked his head finally, stepping back, his hand dropping from where it had been holding her collar. "Well, here's your car," he said. "I think, since it's the only one left here besides Buck's, Eddie's and mine."

"Right," she said. "Yeah, early morning, I have to get going."

"Of course," he said, as she fished for her keys and hit the unlock. He gripped the door handle before she could, opening for her, and Maddie was transfixed by his hand on her door.

"Howie," she whispered, suddenly overwhelmed, stepping towards him again, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders.

He erased the distance between them, stepping forward into her arms, and their lips met in a rush, a culmination of too many moments they'd held back.

Her arms wrapped tight around him, and his hands were on her upper back, pulling her closer, as their tongues tangled.

It felt like an eternity before they pulled away from each other, yet it was over far too soon.

"Hey, I'll see you later," Maddie whispered. "You have my phone number now so text me."

"I will," he replied, his eyes like stars. He leaned to steal one more kiss, and her hand came to cup his cheek.

"I"m ready for this," she told him when he pulled away.

"I've been ready," he replied. "It was never about the coffee."

* * *

THE END

* * *

A/N: It took me about four hours to write this, so I guess I still have it in me sometimes! Hope you guys enjoyed this little fic :) ~Meowser


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